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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924644">Lovesick</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasa_Q/pseuds/Sasa_Q'>Sasa_Q</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Empok Nor but on crack, M/M, Odo is frankly appalled that he didn't realize Garak and Bashir were dating, Out of character but it makes sense with the plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:55:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasa_Q/pseuds/Sasa_Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if instead of Xenophobe Juice (TM) on Empok Nor, there was love pollen? Wouldn't that be so chill if no one got murdered? Haha yeah...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julian Bashir/Elim Garak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Trektober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lovesick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is Ensign Nog to Odo," said Nog's voice through the communicator. "We need as many security guards as you can spare."</p>
<p>"Why? What happened on Empok Nor?" asked Odo apprehensively.</p>
<p>"It's... it's Garak," said Nog.</p>
<p>"Oh, no. What has he done? Murdered people?" Odo said.</p>
<p>"No, Odo, although it's almost as bad. Come see for yourself." Nog's communicator cut off.</p>
<p>Odo took a team of security guards to the airlock. He was prepared to see a lot of blood, guts, and gore. He was not expecting to see Elim Garak, grown man, ex-Obsidian Order agent looking like a lovesick puppy.</p>
<p>"Where is he? You told me you were going to bring him!" Garak said. Even his voice was different.</p>
<p>"I... I may have lied," said Nog.</p>
<p>"What's going on? Bring who?" Odo asked.</p>
<p>"Odo, thank goodness you're here," Garak said, grabbing his arm. "I have to see Dr. Bashir. Right now. Can you take me to him?"</p>
<p>"Why? Are you injured?" asked Odo, pulling away.</p>
<p>"No, I keep telling everyone- I'm perfectly fine! I just need to see Dr. Bashir for... personal reasons," Garak said.</p>
<p>Odo's eyes widened. "I see," he said. "Can I speak with Ensign Nog for a moment, please, Garak?"</p>
<p>"Of course. But please hurry. I really would like to see Dr. Bashir," said Garak.</p>
<p>Odo pulled Nog aside. "Ensign, what happened?" he asked.</p>
<p>"I don't know," said Nog. "There was this kind of biological contaminant. We think it only affects Cardassians. It's some kind of... love pollen. At least, that's our only theory, because ever since he was contaminated, Garak, well, he can't shut up about Dr. Bashir."</p>
<p>"Wait- about Dr. Bashir?" Odo said.</p>
<p>"Yeah, they've been dating for two years now," said Nog. "What, you didn't know?"</p>
<p>"Do I look like I knew?" Odo said. "Why did you ask for the security guards?"</p>
<p>"When we couldn't bring him Dr. Bashir, Garak attacked the other people in the away team," Nog said. "We had to restrain him."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about, Odo?" Garak's voice came from over Odo's shoulder. "Can't you see I need to see the doctor?"</p>
<p>Odo turned around. "Yes, I think we can agree on that," said Odo. "We need to find out a way to get you... disinfected."</p>
<p>"Disinfected? What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine!" said Garak.</p>
<p>"Of course you are," said Odo. "Come on. Let's go see Dr. Bashir."</p>
<p>Garak talked the whole way there. "I'm ever so excited to see Dr. Bashir," he kept saying. "I really can't wait to see him. It's been days, Odo. DAYS. I love him so much. I love the sound of his voice. I love it when he says he loves me."</p>
<p>"I can't believe I didn't notice you were dating," Odo muttered.</p>
<p>"I love the way he smells. It's so human," Garak said. "But I don't mind. Did you know that Cardassians have a very good sense of smell? Better than humans. Probably better than Ferengi, too. That's how I can smell Julian very well. Did you know that he smells really good when we're in bed after we-"</p>
<p>"Emergency transportation to the infirmary!" Odo said quickly before Garak could finish that sentence.</p>
<p>They beamed immediately to the infirmary. "What's going on? What happened?" asked Dr. Bashir.</p>
<p>Garak launched himself at Dr. Bashir like a projectile. "Juliaannnn," he cried. "I missed you so much!"</p>
<p>"He's been infected with some sort of... love pollen," said Odo, hating the phrase.</p>
<p>"Oh," said Dr. Bashir.</p>
<p>"I didn't know the two of you were seeing each other, doctor," said Odo.</p>
<p>"It was kind of obvious, Odo," said Dr. Bashir.</p>
<p>Garak had started crying. "Juliannnnn. Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong? Did I do something bad? Why don't you like me?"</p>
<p>"You haven't done anything wrong," said Dr. Bashir to Garak. "But could you maybe give me some personal space?"</p>
<p>"Oh. Personal space. Of course. Anything for you, Julian," Garak said.</p>
<p>Odo was stifling a laugh. Dr. Bashir glared at him. "I can see that he's been highly affected," Dr. Bashir said. "We'll have to run some tests."</p>
<p>"Of course," said Odo. "Let me know if you need anything."</p>
<p>"See you later, Odo," said Dr. Bashir.</p>
<p>Odo walked out of the infirmary. He had gotten a bit down the promenade when he realized he had forgotten to ask Dr. Bashir about the latest staff meeting, so he went back to the infirmary. As soon as he stepped in, he wished he hadn't. Garak and Dr. Bashir were kissing passionately on one of the cots in the infirmary, making sounds that were frankly disturbing to Odo.</p>
<p>"I'll just pretend I never saw that," Odo said, backing out of the room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the most crack fic I've ever written. It's so silly. I can't. If you have any comments, please let me know. This is such a mess.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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